Well, the last thing I expected to happen so recently into starting my blog-life, was to have my computer crash on me! But it did! Thankfully, I have lovely best friends (and fellow bloggers!) Angy (http://thehoganbunch.blogspot.com) and her uber computer knowledgable hubby Thomas (thesmallestpeace.blogspot.com) who came to my rescue! So WALLLAAAAHHH! Here I am! (Bear with me... this might get lengthy...)
So, my mind today has been getting stuck on this thought... I am a self-proclaimed creative person with tons of dreams and aspirations. Name a city and I could daydream some romantic notion of why it would be an amazing place to live, the type of work I would do, the people I would surround myself with and the fun we would have. (The common theme as you will see is praising God, making & eating goat cheese, and writing.)
One day I am longing for a cabin in the woods, surrounded by hippy friends and guitars, milking goats and making goat cheese & hummus with an old cranky typewriter to pen the next great American Novel. Spending hours walking the woods and talking to God.
Weeks later and my ideal has changed to an old farmhouse in wine country California. Wine parties with friends from neighboring vineyards and artichoke farms, cool mornings spent in an oversized chair with copious amounts of steamy coffee, watching the fog roll in over the hills. Sitting with my laptop writing some amazing adventure novel while noshing on perfectly crusty bread smeared with homemade lavender and honey infused goat cheese.
A current favorite is a south Florida beach house, the kind up on stilts (got to have a place for my goats!) Steamy summer nights on the beach with surfers from all over the world who swear the ocean is their mistress and are searching for that perfect wave. Grilling peaches with goat cheese & orange marmalade over fire pits in the sand, drinking mescato and singing praise music all night long. I would down to Key West in a beautiful 1967 International Scout to soak up inspiration from Mr. Hemingway and his 6 toed kitties.
What's my point, you might ask (if you made it this far?) My point is this, I can dream up amazing lives that I would love to live. Scenarios that aren't ridiculously out of reach, just require creative budgeting (hello Dave Ramsey!) and for me to do the one thing in my life that feels impossible. Make a choice. Why is it so hard to decide on something?
In the Bible, God clearly says He KNOWS the plans He has for me! Prosperity, hope & a future! (Jeremiah 29:11) BUT... it does not say "Hey Sarah! Let's go grab a coffee, and bring some of that amazing goat cheese you keep talking about. I want to tell you everything!" He doesn't tell me everything for a reason... how can my faith, my love and desire to know Him more, my willingness to be stretched... how can I grow, if I already know it all. It requires me to stop living in fear, and to step out in FAITH!
LORD! I praise You for all the beauty you have shown us, and the desires of my heart to see and touch it. Father, forgive me for my lack of faith! I pray for your wisdom and guidance as I make important decisions soon.
Your humble servant,
Sarah
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